Why are you mad?
Typically, when we are asked that, we respond with what someone else did. Similarily, when you ask your child why they are mad, they will almost always answer with what someone else has done or said.
We’ve been trained to believe people make us angry from a very young age.
The reality is our feelings come after we have a thought about something. So, we get to take responsibility for our anger.
This is great news.
We are not at the mercy of other people’s choices. Your spouse, your ex, your in-laws, your boss, or your teen cannot make you angry unless you give them that authority over you.
Showing your child that you have control over your emotions can be a powerful example from which they can learn.
Next time you feel angry, ask yourself who are you giving control over to?
I often catch myself giving control to people who I don’t believe derserve it. I’m the only one I want deciding how I will feel and act.
If you worry that your teen is not in control of their emotions, coaching will help them understand how to grab the reins.