What They Should Be Doing

So much of our frustration in parenting comes from when our kids don’t do what they should do.

They should speak respectfully.

They should do their homework.

They should clean up their rooms.

They should be home when we tell them to be.

Setting boundaries is part of our job as parents, but what if breaking them was part of your child’s job?

The problem with putting “should” on anyone (including yourself) is it is inherently arguing with reality. As Byron Katie says, “When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.”

When your frustrated with something your child has done, ask yourself, “What if that is exactly what they were supposed to do?” It does not mean you approve of what they’ve done, or want them to make the same decision again. But, when you let go of the desire to change what has already happened, you’ll see where you have power in what will happen next.

Then the only thing you have left to decide is what you will do from a place of love and acceptance.

Leave a Reply